You will be surprised if you know this, at least, i am surprised. The ministry department of Malaysia proclaimed that every 15 minutes there is a couple being divorced. Which also means that every 1 hour will have 4 couples are separating. What is happening to the marriage constitution on Malaysia? Or maybe i should say, what happen to the couples on earth. What is happening to the world? Because i believe there is definitely not just happening in Malaysia only. Looking at the divorced rate, i'm scared to be involved in marriage. Thee days people always said " faster get married then you can live out of vexation." Anything to prove that this statement is true? None, i guess.
I guess those elders like grandparents, they will not even think of the word "divorced". Those elders, for example like whenever grandmother married to your grandfather, she probably thought they would be together for better or worse, until one of them passed on. Seriously, divorce was practically unheard of in those days. Women were expected to get pregnant, stay at home to look after children, cook, clean and always be available to their husbands.
If grandmother was unhappy in her marriage, she never said anything. If grandfather's snores were loud enough to keep the neighbours awake, she probably tolerated the nightly disturbances, quietly. If his toenail clippings lying on the bathroom floor made her blood boil, she probably just swept them up, quietly. And if he didnt earn enough for her to buy everything she wanted for her house and family, she probably just cut a few corners here and there, quietly. And surprisingly, this is what makes their marriage last longer.
Maybe this is where the traditional statement of chinese stating that being a woman is suffering. Because the men will be the dominator in the relationship. And also traditionally, men is also the head of the family, in-charge of everything. But they dont know the truth behind i guess. Who is the one that prepare and provide a warmth home for you when you come back home for work, who is the one that taking care of the rest of the thing when you are outside working for money, and who is the one that have to take care of you when you are tired after work. I guess men will never ever foresee all this so called "intangible" variables as in chinese culture, these seems to be the responsibilities of a wife and it's a MUST.
Heck, seems like the length of a marriage is getting shorter and shorter. Even the seven-year itch, traditionally that moment in a relationship when romance has cooled and couples begin to take other for granted, has been reduced to the three-year glitch, according to recent study. With many marriages not even lasting seven years these days, it's only natural that someone in the relationship gets to feeling itchy much earlier on.
Yes, another reason may caused a death marriage is getting bored of it. Relationship withering? Get bored? Feel like wandering? Dull? Lifeless? Excitement of a new relationship sound tempting? I guess many people not really understand that bored doesnt mean do not love her anymore. Yet, getting bored is just simply normal enough in any relationship. Because everything is routine. This is where a marriage might get in to a dead end. But the answer to the problem is not to find a new partner and repeat the cycle or leave the current partner. The answer is actually very simple, it is to stimulate the relationship.
At times, in relationship after initial excitement or attraction phase ends relationships develop a sort of tolerance, as partners get very comfortable and secure with one another. The powerful chemicals that flood our brains during the first stage, the attraction phase of a relationship diminish. Like i always said, dont let a relationship without any passion. I always dream of even i'm approaching 50 or even 60 years old and i can still do whatever i'm doing with him now. I dream that even we becoming old but yet we still can holding hands and kissing in the public. Somehow, it's still a dream.
Anyway, i guess there is another possible reason for a high divorce rate. The changes of lifestyle. Many young women reviewing their domestic roles nowadays. Not like how grandmother tolerance with grandfather. Women began to voice their discontent, but softly. Whenever she is unhappy with him, she might choose to do other things whichever give her an excuse to keep out of the marital bed. Some women choose to walk away, not because they want to show anger or temper, is because women just want to huffing, puffing and muttering and stay out of arguments. But i guess this is not a good way either as when it is too much for her, she will really walk away with door closed behind leaving him. I always do believe each person has his own limit, just like a balloon, too much air definitely will explode.
It sort of seems like that the pressures of modern life, longer working hours and rampant materialism, are causing many couples to argue over more and lose their sexual appetite, after being together for only a few years. Those little habits that were once so endearing, like singing off-key in the shower or drinking juice straight away from the carton in the fridge are now very irritating and often the cause of long, loud arguments. Couples are also no longer giving each other the same number of compliments, down from maybe three a week at the onset of a relationship to a mere one a week three years later.
Some even said that it is because nowadays women are more independent enough for living. Not like old-a-days, women have to depends on husband's financial support for living. And women only need to stay at home for family. They said that these women have no choice but to stay and tolerance for everything.
*sigh* i dont know. I'm lack of confidence and faith. Because these days, there is no guarantee that any marriage will last, but not all. Still, if people embarking on attached life dont change their lifestyles, something's bound to give sooner or later. If working extra hours to buy an iPhone 5, upgrade your car or go for holidays means that you spend less time with your partner, you might be paying too high a price for your treats.
A relationship or marriage is not suppose to be disposable as the outdated iPhone 3G.
Random photo :
i love you Bay
